Thursday, July 28, 2016


How do you tell yourself that 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Because the reality of it is, it sucks. With everything that's been going on lately it definitely is a bad time for a breakup. I was getting myself for it, playing it over and over in my head but it still sucks. Actually uttering the words is hard, have you ever tried it?

It's been a very, very long time since I have posted on this very rusty blog, but I've been itching to write something lately. My life's been ok, nothing much has changed. I'm getting older, aren't we all? I have a very cute nephew. That's probably the best thing that has happen this year. My grandmother passed away peacefully last Wednesday night. We had a little get together with the cousins and reminded ourselves we probably won't be having any major get together anytime soon. It was sad really.

The night my grandmother died was one of my the saddest I ever remembered, other than when both my grandpas died. We didn't get any sleep that night and day, only slept when she was laid to rest. Somehow it put things to prospective, and things have changed. Only her sister was still living with us. What would happen to my aunts, I wonder if they will come to visit? My sent her to the grave, it was a humbling experience. I hope I get a similar farewell when it's time.

Moths ago my beloved cat Mojo died. He died in my arms. I'm still grieving. I can't believe he is gone. Don't get me wrong I still have my cats but Mojo was my cat. We sleep together, we do things that James wouldn't do. I know someone would thing he was just a cat, but he's not just a cat. He was my baby. No one could replace that. 

I thought I was strong enough to go through another ordeal but I'm not. Truthfully I thought I was strong enough but I'm not. Will I be ok? Yes in time. Has it changed me? Yes somehow. Do I regret anything, many but not this particularly. So do I think 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? No, it's always better to be loved. Always.