Sunday, September 13, 2009

Early morning rant

I sometimes feel like rambling about nothing-ness but when I come spill my ill thoughts random ramblings, I go numb. Like, hmmmrrmmm what was it that I was annoyed at? Yes, exactly. I have no effin' idea.

Today I was just feeling kinda at peace with myself, wait maybe not. I don't really know how to express the feeling, but I'm not sad nor am I happy. It's like being stuck in the middle. At peace? With myself? I dunno...but people have been asking me, constantly about when will CLK and I meet again. I suppose the idea of him not being here really puts me down. Like don't rub it in the face man, I know he's like half way across the world you don't need to remind me of that fact - kinda feeling. You know...

It has been about 7 months this 15th of September that I last saw him, like see him, feel him kinda see. *sigh* I talk to him almost daily but it is not the same. I mean we didn't want to be put in this exact situation but it just happened. I guess there are some good that comes with it but like what is good if you are apart right? I dunno...I mean it is good, but the distance really is bull. But that's what we choose, we decided, we took and accepted. :) And I am happy. (Ok didn't I say it puts me down?)

I dunno, I guess some people can't see how it could work, having a loooooooooooooong distance relationship and all, and being apart for so long. The way I see it, is that if you have no desire to be with someone else, or attracted to anyone else it would work, right? And I do believe in karma. I mean, if the other person was cheating on you you are sure to know about it one way or another. Karma's a bitch I know. Altho I am hoping karma would be good to me this time :). I mean what have I done to be bitten on the ass right?

Anyway, I was just rambling...actually there was a point to this but like I said I forgot as soon as I see the 'new post' segment. Life's a chocolate factory...haha. Hmmm, chocolate.

I just miss him.


LiLu said...

I think some people can definitely do long distance... I ain't one of them. But it sounds like you are! Go for it.

a!k0 said...

:) aww thanks, yup gotta go for it! yeah well that was not by choice i suppose. it was just a bad experience that turn into something good :P