Friday, August 14, 2009

Mood swings, yeah it's that time of month

I get effin- mad during this time of month. I get upset, I cry (yes I cry over stupid lil things), I get pissed off by little mistakes, I get really pissy and I always seem to throw it all at CLK. I sometimes get upset with him, even tho it was clearly nothing to be upset about. I get 'irrational'. (Yes I know, I admit I'm irrational when I'm upset, or I'm upset and get irrational, but I can't help it.) Yes. I. Can't help it. I get pissy, I cry- a lot. Sometimes it makes me feel a lot better about myself. Other times, I just get more upset.

But you know sometimes I just needed that someone to not try to understand why I'm upset. Just let me be. (OK I don't want to let me 'be' I need someone to give me hugs and tell me everything is going to be OK.)

(What? I just want some lovin'.)

Clearly, sometimes that message don't come across. It sometimes come across as 'leave-me-fuckin'-alone-I-don't-want-to-talk-to-you-now'. Which really sucks. I do admit it's a mistake in my part. But that's ego talking. I don't wanna go, 'please hold me, I want you to make it all better'. Sissy. But really, that's what I'm saying. *sigh*

CLK always seems to be optimistic about things. Like now, I'm in my PMS-ing state, really annoying if you ask me. If I was my boyfriend I'd really be annoyed. But no. He's like all 'I know you're in your mood swing, pms thing so I think I need to leave you alone'. Like what? So cool. I mean, yeah I'm in my PMS thing but I don't want to be alone. :( *pout* And yes, I am being difficult. I am being irrational. I am being stupid. But I don't want to be alone. What am I talking about? I don't know. Sometimes I don't get myself. Being irrational. *sigh*

I don't want to be irrational. (Yes I am definitely IRRATIONAL) but sometimes I can't help myself. Sometimes I feel like yapping and biting peoples' heads off (mostly CLK cause I talk to him a lot and he happens to trigger my irrational mode when I'm upset (which usually happens over idiotic things he say or I just feel like he don't want to talk to me) which is, irrational). See? I don't understand myself. *spins round and round* I'm upset, can't you tell? (and I have no idea what's the point of this post)

I need a rest and clear my mind. Oooo, orchestra practice tonight, yummy. Mind-clearing time.

*psst, PMS survival tips*

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